Relationship breakup is hard, but sometimes the relationship you were in just wasn’t working out for you.
It’s not healthy being in a relationship that’s strained, emotionally hurtful or abusive, so if it’s time to get out of there, it can be a scary time. There is no one type of breakup, but there is one thing that every breakup has in common: it hurts. A lot. Here’s a few ways you can move on after a breakup in a healthy way.
What went well? You must evaluate what went well in your relationship, whether it be your friendship, your sense of humour or passion. This is important to remember, because it can be easy to think that your ex has left you because there was nothing special about your relationship. This is far from the truth. In order to stay sane, look back and think of the positives.
What went sour? Along with the positives, it’s important to recognise what went wrong in your relationship. Think about your arguments, and what they were about. Were they always on the same subject, about a lack of loyalty, politics or just about having nothing in common? Dissect these issues a bit, but don’t dwell; that’s an issue. You should never dwell on an issue behind your fighting, but you should think about what went wrong in your relationship, because perhaps you may learn something from it. You never know, you may see in hindsight what the issue was, and you can then learn from those mistakes.
Speak To Someone You Trust You should never deal with hard times alone, so if you’re feeling overwhelmed or distraught, you should open up to someone. It could be your friend, your pet or even a journal, just get it out there. A problem shared is a problem halved, and if you share any issues with someone you trust, you may perceive the issue from a different angle. This can help you cope in a different way, or discover a whole new way to process the issue. Your friends may also have some empathy towards you too, as they have most likely dealt with the same issues, and they can help you move on and move forward.
Take Time Things take time, and you shouldn’t feel the need to rush your feelings away. Breakups are hard, and you need time to process the grieving of your relationship. So whether you need to spend a day or two in your bed with Netflix and a block of chocolate, or you spend an extra hour in your shower cubicle, just crying; just do it. You can’t expect to move on over night, and a general rule of thumb is that it takes half the time you were together to move on. To put it simply, if you were together for three years, it would take you a year and a half to move on fully. It sounds like a long time, but it’s generally the way it works. Never try and rush yourself moving on, because it’s not healthy and it’s an easy way to get yourself into a downward spiral.
Try And Better Yourself You have to keep standing back up every time you fall down, and no one leaves a relationship fully in tact. There comes a time when you have to get up off the couch and put away the snacks. It may not be straight away, but it has to happen at some point. This is the point where you should focus on moving forward, rather than moving on. If you’re feeling sluggish, hit the gym. If you’re feeling uninspired, attend an art class or read a book. You should never stop working on yourself and making yourself feel happy. Take a look around you. Does your home need an update? Throw away some old things and replace it with something new. Upgrade your old bed frame with something stylish and pretty, paint the walls in your home a new colour or take up gardening. Always remember that this break up does not define you, and you shouldn’t let it make you feel bad about yourself. You’re better than that; now prove it.
Love Is Out There You should never forget that this breakup is not the end of your chance at love and happiness. There is someone out there who can understand you fully, and can appreciate you for who you are. Never give up on love, and keep putting yourself out there. You’re a catch, after all!
Ally Feiam is the marketing & content creator for MyDeal, an online marketplace with over 25,000 products.