Personal Peace Blog

Taking care of yourself

Suzanne Scarrow - Monday, May 15, 2017

Good habits you can develop to maintain good emotional health

How do you lift yourself up your list of priorities and take care of your own emotional health when you have so much to do for others?

Women are often the emotional caretakers of the entire family – have you noticed that when you are feeling down the whole family becomes out of balance?  So then it is even more important that you put yourself first, because if your emotional health takes a dive then so will the entire family’s emotional health become out of balance.  The old saying that you have to help yourself before you can help others really applies here.  Think about the airplane safety instruction:  ‘Put your own oxygen mask on before you help others’.

Wake up and spend a few minutes finding feelings of appreciation.  It doesn’t matter what the topic is, just find those feelings.  It is vital to your wellbeing.

Then throughout the day, feel acceptance, love and forgiveness of yourself.  You deserve it.  If you don’t believe you deserve it, seek help about that issue of non-deserving.

If there are thoughts and feelings that stop you from feeling good, clear them out of your life, or get some help to clear them, because whatever it is, is not worth you being out of a good feeling place for.

Remember your job is to feel good.  That is it!  Whatever you can do to feel good (in a genuine way) will keep you in a place of peace and calm and resilience where no matter what is going on around you at home or at work, you continue to feel peace and calm.

Your relationships are so important in your life but they can also be the most challenging aspect of your life.  Get into the habit of seeing the people in your life in the best possible light.  Focus on their positive points and ignore their negative ones. 

Take responsibility for your own happiness.  You are the one who is best able to get yourself into a place of happiness.  If you depend on others for that good feeling they will always let you down, because they are busy trying to keep themselves in a good feeling place.

Remember to take care of yourself or you won’t be able to take care of anyone else.

Suzanne Scarrow

Psychologist

Personal Peace Clinic

Cairns   4870

Mobile:  0402 676 807

Email:  Suzanne@personalpeace.com.au

Web:  www.personalpeace.com.au


Relationship pain and struggle

Suzanne Scarrow - Monday, May 15, 2017

There is nothing like a love relationship to bring challenges and personal growth.  The one you love will act as a mirror for you, without you even asking, reflecting back to you the things you don't like about yourself.  You will feel the discomfort of it and perhaps blame the one you love.

A wiser way to approach this is to ask yourself some pretty important questions:

  • 'What do I have to learn in this situation?'
  • 'Where in my life have I felt a similar feeling to this?'
  • 'Who else has made me feel this way?'
  • 'If I could be free of this feeling, what would it feel like?'
These questions will highlight for you the emotional baggage you need to clear.  Once cleared - using a tool like Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) - you will have the freedom you have been hoping for.  

For example, if you find that you feel a pattern of being rejected or hurt by the one you love, there is almost certainly a time earlier in your life where you were hurt and rejected by a significant person, like your Father or Mother.  When you clear the pain of the earlier hurt and rejection the present experience also reduces in intensity.  

Once you are clear of the vibration of being hurt and rejected by that significant other, as a child, then you stop attracting similar situations into your experience.

You deserve to be free of this baggage.  You are the only one with the key and you are the only one who can do the work.

How to stop the fighting in your relationship

Suzanne Scarrow - Monday, May 15, 2017

How to stop the fighting in your relationship!

It astounds me how many people feel fighting is okay in a relationship!

Fighting is never okay!

Fighting only achieves misery.  It never achieves what you want to achieve!        

  • When you fight, you are completely disrespecting the person you say you love. 

Have you ever felt respected when you are fighting with someone?   I most definitely haven’t.  I have felt disrespected.  I have felt hurt.  I have felt out of control.  I have felt sad.  I have felt angry. 

I have never, ever, felt respected when I am fighting.  In fact, I choose not to fight because it is such an ineffective way to operate.

  • When you fight, your precious children are either hearing the fighting or they are picking up on the vibes. 

If you have children, and they are living in your home – or even if they are living away from home – I guarantee they do not even need to hear the fighting to be negatively affected by it.  Children soak up the energy around them and most likely will blame themselves in some way for the fighting.

  • When you are fighting, you are saying things that you can never unsay. 

If I could take your blood pressure when you are fighting, I am pretty certain that it would be elevated above normal.  The veins on your neck may even be raised.

When you in this aroused state, you will almost say things you regret.  Once those things have been said they can’t be unsaid.  Even if you apologise profusely, those words can’t be unsaid.

  • When you are fighting, you are doing it from a place of anger, hurt, pain, or distress.  Nothing good can come out of this. 

If you are fighting from a place of anger and hurt – and this is the way it usually is – you can only cause damage. 

Nothing good can come from this form of communication.  Cool down first.  Take care of those negative emotions.  If you do not know how to do this, ASK ME!  Then come back and clear the air from a calm place.

  • If you are speaking angrily, no-one is hearing what you are saying.  They are only hearing your anger.

Have you noticed after a fight, that most, if not all, of what you have said has not been heard and understood by your partner?

When we are in a state of hyperarousal, we are not focused on the meaning of the words that are being said.  We are only aware of the awful feeling that we are feeling in our bodies.

Stop the fighting

  1. If you think about it logically what is the purpose of the fight?

  1. Get yourself into a calm state to deal with the issue, so that you will be heard and understood.  I have tools like Emotional Freedom Techniques, you might know it as tapping, that help me get to this calm state. 

It is only from this calm state that you can deal with the issue without the fighting.  From this calm state, you can get the best possible result for both yourself, your partner and for your relationship.

  1. Be respectful of your partner.  This is the person you love.  You don’t want to disrespect them. 

  1. Be respectful of yourself.  You are also the person you should be loving.  Fighting does not serve to respect you.

Remember that every arrow you throw at your partner goes straight through the heart of your child.  Every time!

If you would like to learn more about how to find that calm place, so that you can stop the fighting, I would love to help you get there.

If you would like to know more about how you can STOP THE FIGHTING,

Come to my ‘Save Your Relationship – Save Yourself’ 90-minute workshop: http://www.personalpeace.com.au/workshops.html


Reclaim Your Power

Suzanne Scarrow - Monday, May 15, 2017

SO MANY PEOPLE GIVE UP THEIR POWER IN A RELATIONSHIP!

DOES it feel as though you are not being your true self?  

Do you even know who that true self is?

Have you given up your dreams since getting into your relationship?

Are you fulfilling your true purpose in life?

If you are not living your purpose then you are short changing yourself in life.  

You cannot be completely happy if you are short changing yourself!

WHAT is your true purpose in life?

I believe your true purpose is doing something that you are truly passionate about - the thing that makes you truly happy.  

When we get into a relationship with someone, no matter how loving the relationship is, there is a tendency to give up your dreams to focus on the dreams of your partner.  Or feeling as though there is never enough time or energy to follow your dreams.  

Then the risk is that you will feel dissatisfied with life because you are not living your dream.  When you are dissatisfied, who is the first person to feel the undercurrent of your unhappiness?  Of course, it is your partner.

You cannot blame anyone else for your dissatisfaction.  It is always up to you to take your power back and live your own dream.  Your partner cannot do it for you.  It is up to you and only you!

When you take your power back and are living your true purpose you will be truly happy.  Of course you are not living in a vacuum and so when you are truly happy you will be glowing that happiness all around you.  Your partner will sense that too, and will feel the benefit of it.  Your children will feel it.  Your friends and family will feel it.  And the better it gets the better it gets.  Nothing less than this is good enough, once you realise the value in it.

If you are not sure about how to take your power back, you are in the right place!  If you have been struggling with this concept I would love to take the journey with you.  I have learned this is my own relationships and taught it to thousands of clients, who have gone on to have amazing relationships.

When you take take your power back and live your passion, you are on the way to creating your own ‘Amazing Relationship’.

I WOULD LOVE TO HELP YOU TAKE BACK YOUR POWER

To book your FREE  45 minute consultation 

email:  Suzanne@personalpeace.com.au


 



Healthy Relationships

Suzanne Scarrow - Monday, May 15, 2017

Healthy relationships!

To have a healthy relationship the first and most important thing you need to do is to have a healthy relationship with yourself!

How do you have a healthy relationship with yourself?

  • Be true to yourself
  • Take responsibility for your own happiness
  • Be the best version of you you can be
  • Learn to love, accept and forgive yourself
It won't always be easy.  You are on a journey to reconnect with who you really are.  The people who come into your life, particularly in love relationships, will challenge you to grow and expand.  They will often shine a light on the things you don't like about yourself.  When you discover these things, with the help of your lover, you can now clear the baggage that causes it to be stuck in your energy system.  Then you can be clear of it and stop attracting more of the same into your life.

It won't be easy but it will always be worth the effort.  It is really a choice.  

You can see attributes that you don't like about yourself or your partner and you can continue to allow it to make you crazy, or you can take responsibility about why you continue to invite this into your life - the repeating patterns that we all do - and clear the events from the past so that your future can be clear of this repeating pattern.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is the best - and fastest - way that I know to clear this energy.

Finding Peace

Suzanne Scarrow - Monday, May 15, 2017

No matter what hurt or pain your past has thrown at you, you can now find a way to clear that hurt and pain with the Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).  

Up until relatively recently I believed that we had to just accept what life throws at us.  'It is the hand you have been dealt.  Cope with it as best you can.'  

I no longer believe that.  I have exceptional success in clearing old negative emotions and destructive beliefs for myself and clients.  It is possible to be free of the pain!

In fact I now believe that we are meant to live in joy not in pain.  The pain is just an indicator to us that we need to identify and clear the source of the pain and then live as we were meant to, in joy and happiness.

You can do this for yourself.  I talk about it in my book, 'Finding Peace Now';  I talk about it in my online seminars;  I talk about it with clients every single day.  You can be free of the pain.  You can gain freedom from the hurt.  You can release the anger and live in calm.

Make the changes in your life.  You deserve the freedom and the joy!

Suzanne

3 Steps to Creating Your Ideal Life

Suzanne Scarrow - Monday, May 15, 2017

3 Steps to Creating Your Ideal Life

Most people create by default.  Choose to create deliberately!

Often, even if people understand that the way they think and feel is creating their experience of life, they do not know how to deliberately create the life they truly want.

I did not know, and now that I know, I want to share

this knowledge with you.

There are three steps to how the Law of Attraction works:

Ask - You are always doing this through all the experiences you have and observe.  You might do it through your appreciation of what you have now.  Or by default, you may be doing your creating by focusing on those things you do not want. 

You might do it through thinking about it often and even visualizing it as though it already exists.  You might ask in a prayer.  The Universe only needs to hear it once.

Believe it will come to you.  We usually get hung up on how it will happen. 

The how is not your work.  Once you ask the Universal energy goes into action to become the manifestation of that which you have asked for.  This step is not your business.  Don’t get entangled in the Universe’s business.

Receive the manifestation you requested.  This is the second place where we often come unstuck.  To allow the manifestation in, we need to believe the Universe is doing its work.

We need to believe that we are worthy and deserving and then we need to get into the high vibration of love and above, to allow the manifestation to come into our experience.

When you understand how this works you can really begin to create the life of your dreams.  How wonderful is that!

I didn’t get it for such a long time.  I was in victim mode.  Life was happening to me and I felt like I had no control over what was happening.

The problem was I was creating by default.  I thought life was all about struggle.  So, the Universe matched my thinking and feeling, very reliably.  The Universe is always reliable.  It will bring you an exact match to what you are focusing on.

Then I learned that it was actually all in my control

It always had been in my control.  I just didn’t know it.  I had been creating by default.  What I was creating was definitely not what I desired to have in my life.

The first step is so easy.  You are always asking.  When you have an experience of lack, the Universe hears you ask for abundance.  When you have an experience of hurt and loss, the Universe hears you ask for love and peace.  When you have an experience of illness and dis-ease, the Universe hears you ask for an abundance of health.

The second step is none of your business.  I am serious about that.  DO NOT get tangled up in the how!  When you start trying to figure out the ‘how’ of your desired manifestation all the roadblocks will stop you. 

Your doubts will stop you.  The hugeness of it will stop you.  The unbelief of it will stop you.  Your feelings of unworthiness will stop you.  Your feelings of not deserving will stop you.  DO NOT GET HOOKED INTO THIS!

The third step is where you might struggle the most, but it is also the most joyous step.  That is because to effectively complete step three of the process you need to become joyous. 

You need to raise your vibration to the vibration of joy, love, knowledge, belief, appreciation.  This is the step that requires that you need to feel good to get what you want in life.

If you would like to know more about how to manage the Universal Law of Attraction to your best advantage:

HAVE A LOOK AT MY SMALL HANDBOOK :

'Finding Peace Now'          http://www.personalpeace.com.au/products.html


You are not alone

Suzanne Scarrow - Monday, May 15, 2017

You are not alone!  

Between 30 and 50% of relationships in Australia fail to such a degree that they are ended, leaving a trail of brokenness and heartbreak.  

Even worse is the number of families, with children, who are continuing to live in distressing situations where fighting is an accepted norm.

It is not normal to fight with the person you love.  It is not normal to fight with the Mother or Father of your children in front of those children.  Children blame themselves for the fighting and the struggles.  Even if you take care not to let them hear the fight, they will feel the energy of the distress that their Mum and Dad are feeling.  Even if you tell them the fighting is not their fault, they will still have thoughts like:  ‘I must be unlovable, because if I was lovable enough they would not fight’.  Children feel they should be able to fix everything and if they can’t it must be because something is lacking in themselves.

This is not logical, but it is most definitely the way children think.

It is the way many of my adult clients thought when they were growing up as the children in families where there was constant distress.

Now, I am not saying that your family is dysfunctional if it is not 100% happy all of the time.  If it was the case that your family was 100% happy all the time, I would be concerned.  It is not possible.  Life does not allow us to be happy 100% of the time and issues that we need to work on will always come up in our relationships, our workplace or in the goals that we set for ourselves, and then sabotage.

Can you get close to 100% happy?  Well that is a big ask, but what you can do is to give yourself permission, when you are not happy, to reach for a better feeling thought.  You can train yourself to focus on thoughts that feel better and better.  Eventually you can be in a position that no matter what is going on around you, you can be in a good feeling place.  I know this to be true because I have worked on it and achieved it.  I have helped many many clients into this state of happiness too!  Once you can find that level of good feeling, your relationship will be amazing!

I would love you to come along to one of my ‘Save Your Relationship – Save Yourself’ 90-minute talks, in which I will share with you the three (3) biggest mistakes we make in relationships and what you can do to ensure that your relationship does not suffer the consequences of these mistakes.

The next talk is at the Tallebudgera Leisure Centre at Palm Beach on 30th April 2017 from 2:00pm until 3:30pm.  If you, or someone you care about, could benefit, this workshop is my gift to you for just $20 (to help pay for expenses).

Book at www.personalpeace.com.au/workshops.html or come along and pay at the door.  It would be good for me to know if you if you intend to come along so that I can prepare enough resources.  Bring some water, a notepad and pen.  I look forward to meeting you there.


Calm Yourself from Anxiety

Suzanne Scarrow - Monday, May 15, 2017

You can help yourself calm down during a panic attack!

Symptoms of panic attacks are:

    Emotional Symptoms such as:

    • a feeling of intense fear
    • sense of doom
    • feeling of unreality
    • fear of dying of a heart attack or stroke
    • fear of something horrible about to happen
    • fear of losing control
    • fear that this time it is for REAL

    Physical symptoms such as:

    • a racing or pounding heartbeat
    • difficulty breathing
    • choking
    • sweating
    • shaking 
    • flushing
    • chest pains
    • dizziness
    • light-headiness
    • nausea
    • tingling or numbness in the hands

It is the fear of the panic attack, the fear of the fear that holds you prisoner.  This fear can stop you enjoying your life.  It keeps you prisoner in your own home, for fear that the panic attack might happen somewhere where you have no supports in place, like the supermarket, the children’s school or just out on the street.

Often there has been a build up of stressful or traumatic events in the person’s life.  They may have even handled the trauma and the stress well.  After some time though, and often after a build up of further stress or trauma, the body says ‘enough, I can’t do this anymore’. 

There is now a technique available to everyone, at all times, which can not only reduce the symptoms of panic attack, but it can also reduce the intensity of future attacks. If used with the help of a therapist you can even rid yourself of the fear of having another attack and then you have freedom from the experience of panic attacks.

There is great comfort of knowing that you have a tool to reduce your symptoms when they occur.

This technique is Emotional Freedom Techniques.  It is a very simple tapping technique, which vibrates the energy meridians, releasing emotional blockages which hold the fear, and other negative emotions, in place.  Once you have reduced the level of intensity of the particular emotion, or traumatic experience, the client is able to look at the experience in a much more detached way.  They are now able to separate themselves from the experience of the panic attack and the fear of it returning is neutralised.

This technique of EFT can also be used as an energy toning treatment, any where, any time.  This is like an exercise program for your energy meridians through which, when emotional blockages are released, subtle energy flows to all areas of your body keeping it in a healthy state, physically and emotionally.

A recent client of mine said:

"Since using the EFT technique, I have found that I am more relaxed and in control of my emotions.  My panic attacks have subsided considerably and my general health has improved." - Client 2009

"This simple process is something that I can and do use regularly and I am confident to confront anything, using EFT.  It is a relief  to know that I can also gain the control of my life." -  Client 2008

You are more resilient than you think you are

Suzanne Scarrow - Monday, May 15, 2017




Do you feel beaten down by life?

I want you to know that you are actually more resilient than you think you are!

When you have experienced trauma, abuse, neglect or stress in your past, it is easy to feel that you are broken and unfixable.  

The good news is that you are a survivor.  It is not always going to feel good to you.  Sometimes it is going to feel damned awful.  Hang in there.  You are in this uncomfortable state because it is time for you to expand and grow.  Without the discomfort you would not be aware of the need for change.  Awareness is the first and crucial step in the healing journey.

Do you know that there is far more to you than the blood and bone that holds you together? You are pure positive energy in this human body suit, and you will always be more than the physical.  The non-physical part of you is the bigger, safer, more loving part.  It is what you might call your connection to God or Universal Energy.  When you feel connected to this part of you you will feel completely safe, completely loveable, completely worthy and able to cope with anything life throws at you.

Imagine a small child who has been badly neglected, possible sexually abused, certainly told how worthless, unwanted and unlovable she is.  Every time something happens in her young and vulnerable life she puts meaning on herself about that event.  The meaning she perceives will almost always be that she is unlovable or unworthy, not good enough - because, if she was good enough these awful events would not be happening to her.  Then she gets more confirmation of this negative core belief that is being formed about herself.  This then becomes the World view that this child has about herself and because of the way the Universe works, bringing like energies together, she continues to run life patterns that bring more and more evidence that this is who she is.

It is not who she is!  

She is a beautiful pure positive energy being, who has been badly affected by life so far.  But, none of that has happened to her define who she is.  

It is so important to realise that the impact of all the trauma, abuse, neglect and stress, no matter the cause, can be cleared using techniques like Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).  Once cleared you can move forward and live the life you choose to live, free from the emotional trauma.

This is where the resilience comes in.  Realising that you have work to do to clear the impact of the trauma, abuse, neglect, stress is a huge first step in the healing journey.  The next step is to seek out some help.  

THIS IS A STRENGTH 
not a weakness!

Once the clearing is done you will feel more confident in yourself.  You will love yourself more and that is always the biggest boost to your healing.  You will forgive yourself for what has happened in the past.  You will even get to a stage of forgiving others involved and when you reach that stage you will know that you are really healed.

Remember, you are pure positive energy having a human experience.  You are good enough!  You are loveable!  You are worthy!  You are loveable!


For more information visit my website  Personal Peace Clinic


Workshops to help you take the next step Personal Peace Clinic Workshops